Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender
74Part 1
Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender
This is the first part of a ten-part series I intend to post on HubPages. I'll be adding a new part every day. So keep checking back with me to see what's new. Enjoy, and hopefully I can help improve your night life.
If you're the type of person who thinks every bartender they meet is an asshole, you should read this list. You're most likely the problem, not the bartender.
The good news is that with a few adjustments to your attitude and approach you'll be getting the bartender on your side in no time. You'll get served quicker, you're likely to get a stronger pour and you might even get a free round or two.
Even for some of you who don't have a problem with bartenders, this is a useful list of actions to avoid while at the bar. Those of us in the industry understand that not everyone knows proper bar etiquette all the time. We're reasonable people and we just ask that you be the same.
Before I get into it, some things to keep in mind:
One, we meet hundreds of people every night, on some nights thousands. We might remember you, but we might not. This particularly should be remembered by guys who are not hot chicks. Come on, who would you remember if you were me. I don't dislike you, but your cleavage isn't going to burn into my memory quite the same way.
Two, we may have a shot or two behind the bar, but we still have a job to do and we are professionals. We are sober, and we are surrounded by drunk people and it is our job to get them more drunk.
Three, we don't have a wage. In some states like California we get minimum wage plus our tips, but in other states like Illinois, we are exempt from minimum wage. Even if we are lucky enough to earn the full minimum wage, as you may be aware, it is not enough to pay the rent these days. And while we may be financially stable, none of us are rich.
Now that you know where we're coming from, let me tell you how to avoid getting on our bad side and pissing us off:
#1 - Asking "What Do You Have?" Well, I have a bar. I have hundreds and hundreds of different bottles of liquor, 17 beers on tap, 22 different bottled beers, 9 red wines and 6 white wines. I also have a variety of non-alcoholic beverages with which you can mix those drinks. Where would you like me to begin the list?
By asking this question, particularly when I am busy, you are showing me that you are indecisive and therefore are going to be a time consuming customer. So, for the rest of the night, you are not going to be helped unless I have helped everyone else first.
This has nothing to do with who you are as a person. In fact, most people who are guilty of this tend to be cute and shy women. You're probably very charming, but right now, I am at work and this is a simple matter of economics. I need to crank out as many drinks as possible. If I can serve four customers in the time it takes you to tell me what you want, you're at the back of the line. Sorry.
If you are unsure of what you want, there are much better ways to approach the situation.
You know what kind of drinker you are. You also already know a large portion of the answer to your question. You want beer, or you want vodka, or you want a fruity, girly drink. You don't need to know that we have a fine selection of bourbon.
So a more appropriate question would be "what kind of vodka do you have?"
"What types of martinis do you do?" would also be appropriate. The bartender may even have a cocktail list to hand you.
If you are truly feeling indecisive you can ask something like "Do you have any special drinks you make?" or "Is this place known for any particular drinks?" or even "I'm a vodka drinker, but I'm feeling indecisive, can you make me a good vodka drink?"
When you're more reasonable, we can work with you. And when we see you're making an effort to be more efficient, we will excuse your lack of preparation.
As a final note, always think about what you want before you get the bartenders attention. If you wait ten minutes to get some help, then look at the bartender and say "uhhhh....uhhhh...hmmm...." you might have to wait another ten minutes.
Until next time, Cheers, Salud, Slainte!
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The only thing worse would be pissing off the person who controls the food!
Loved it. I must say, the "What do you have?" question cracks me up every time. Really? We have pretty much anything you want! Great article.
Hi, I just read your last post first and made a comment. I should have started here.
I am the owner of the hospitality consulting company, that looks out for guys like you.
At first I was a bit appaled at how you look at the paying customer and your employer. However, after reading the first 2-3 paragraphs of part one of this 10 part series, I am actually outraged.
This is actually how you feel, in your own words.."If you're the type of person who thinks every bartender they meet is an asshole, you should read this list. You're most likely the problem, not the bartender". Then you added, this little comment.."The good news is that with a few adjustments to your attitude and approach you'll be getting the bartender on your side in no time. You'll get served quicker, you're likely to get a stronger pour and you might even get a free round or two".
People actually commented that what you said was ok.
In a nutshell, here is what you just said.
F-the customers, F-the management, and F-the owner of the company. You have to be kidding me. Not only does your attitude drive customers away, but "If they change there attitudes" you will make stronger drinks and give some away for free.
Dude, I hope your name is not on the idiotic page.
Your actually admitting that you steal your employers money if customers do what you perceive as a proper attitude towards you.
Over-pouring and gving drinks away for free so you can get bigger tips is THEFT. The house loses a fortune on the back of guys like you.
I can't believe you feel the way you do, and have the audicity of putting it in writing.
I am going to use this blog as part of my consultation when I meet with new clients as why they need services like mine.
WOW
I'd like to know if Vic has ever been a bartender before...pull the stick out of your ass!
Yeah I'm not sure if Vic has ever held a job in the service industry before. Most of the nightclubs that I have worked at have had comp tabs for the bartender to give away a drink or two a night. Also it's not F the customers. It's F the ignorant, pushy, rude, non-tipping customers. My living is built on return customers, and I make a good living on those people. P.S. I think I can speak for most bartenders, but they all feel this way.
Firstly all bartenders on earth agree Vic is prick.
I've got ton of things to add to this list (I've worked in some very busy & under staffed bars in my time & during times where the bars where making major cuts to stock, including napkins, straws & even glasses. so I feel like giving my two cents... Well two pence as I'm English.
1) Don't wave your money at me, but have your money ready.
2) Don't swear during your order.
3) In a busy bar say 2 deep with 30 customers on the front row & only one bar tender be patient & recognise that it's impossible for me to watch every person come to the bar. More than likely I'll be serving down the line of customers from left to right (check to see if this is what the bar tender's doing. If it takes me one minute to serve each costomer, do the math!
4) Large orders are fine, but don't keep adding orders on & when your large group of mates ask you.
5) Don't get too drunk.
6) Don't buy drinks for people I've refused to serve because they're too drunk.
7) Don't mess up the bar & rip up the napkins or throw the straws everywhere.
8) Don't ever reach over the bar.
9)Don't ask for free drinks, I'm not allowed & I'm on camera.
10) Don't expect to be served first because you've got a pair of tits.
11) Tipping doesn't give you a right to be a prick.
12) It's 90dB in here, so speak up!
13) Check to see if I have card machine, don't just presume I have one.
14) in fact just as a rule of them don't use card, it's time consuming.
15) If you must use card REMEMBER YOUR PIN!
16) Happy birthday, you're friends can buy you a drink, I'm not stealing for you.
17) Don't order drinks you can't afford
18) Don't moan about the price, I don't set them
19) Not every bar is a flashy cocktail bar. It's pretty easy to determine what kind of club you're in when you step through the door. If you see the place is full of students & alco pops you're probably not going to get a Strawberry Daiquiri.
20) Don't be a dick!
Rhym O'Reison 4 years ago
I love this and hearing the point of view from the other side of the bar. I can't wait to read the rest of the list, because the last person I want to piss off when I am out is the one who controls the drinks.